Change did not happen overnight. It did not even happen that week we spent deep cleaning and decluttering. Change has been seeping into my daily life one small step at a time.

Accepting that change only comes with the first step, I am now moving on to change other areas of my life. There are places that the best me does not shine forth. Instead, I send out a black and white image if I make any showing at all. Today that first small step was taken.

1. I told everyone (including my husband) what was needed from them and then I expected it to get done.

2. While they were doing what I needed from them, I was also doing the things on the list that I had committed to do. That meant I had to walk away from the computer because it was not time for the computer.

3. “How do you stay focused on the work you are doing?” That question was posed to me by my teenager and the only answer I had was that you have to CHOOSE to do that task. I am choosing to stay on schedule, on track and on task for today!

Change is coming but only if I choose to make the necessary adjustments to allow change access into my life.

How do you bring change?

“There you go noodling again.”

The marriage class my husband and I took did benefit our relationship greatly. It taught us to see things from a different perspective. The lessons gave us opportunities to discuss our lives, issues and circumstances without being prompted by chaos. It was all good, until about the 1000th time I heard that stupid phrase.

Men and women are fundamentally different. This is a scientific fact. I accept that but I do not accept that the scientific fact is the end of it all.

According to the Scripture, the two become one when the marriage occurs. The Scripture also states that there is no more man or woman and that we are all to have the mind of Christ. That means that we should all think alike as we grow in our Walk.

That is my story and I am sticking to it.

The reality falls short of the expectations. People tend to be a bit like running water and follow the path of least resistance. The flesh provides that path and the spirit has to work to overcome the easy way out.

Men and women are different mainly because they choose to settle for the ordinary. I can complain all day about that fact but it will not change that fact. My husband will still talk about my noodling and I can continue to smile to myself when I see him doing the same noodling moments later.

My own Walk will not be wedged into the ways of man. I choose to step out of my comfort zone. The more I allow my heart to be molded then the more I will be able to speak with proficiency even the language of man.

Get it?

A woman that gives birth to a child offers that gift of life without expectation of return. There is no way to know what the child will do or become. A mother does not expect to receive from her suffering. She simply loves.

A person that steps up and goes to war to defend his family, friends, neighbors and country does not do it with the expectation of benefit. There is no accountant tablet recording the just rewards. The battle is fought because the love and devotion is strong enough to drive the desire.

The list goes on. The acts of true love, unselfish acts given without expectation of return, fill time and history.

My call is to fill my day to day life with those same acts of love. I am called to do things because things need to be done. Thoughts of “what is in it for me” or “what have you done for me lately” are unacceptable companions of love.

It is only when I live this life of no expectations that the blessings for every aspect of my life –from finances, to health and weight, to family and friends – will start to flow.

The person on the other end of the line did not know me. That person had never been in a position to experience my heart, my passion or my walk. The words spoken that day were about one moment in time. But the words that came from that person grabbed hold of my flesh and I just could not seem to shack them.

“Like a flitting sparrow, like a flying swallow, So a curse without cause shall not alight.” – Proverbs 26:2

It never ceases to amaze me how God will put your answer in your heart long before you have need of that answer. Several weeks ago the verse about a curse without cause came up in our accountability group. I finally understood that it did not mean that curses would not come but that when I was doing what I know to do then the curse will not “alight” on me.

I have lots of sparrows that flitter around our back yard. Even when they come to the bird feeders, they never sit still. It is almost like they cannot find the perch that will make them comfortable.

“You need to learn how to speak words that are more uplifting.” I have not been able to loose that statement from my thoughts. It has followed me around all week and taunted me as I would try to sleep. Even as I provided research to a friend for “lifting up a fallen brother” and used my own writings, I still could hear those words echoing in my head.

Check Your Heart

1. Words that stick may have some validity to them. I intend to spend the next few weeks in my own personal study time looking at the words that I have been speaking, writing and thinking. There is a reason that this “curse” has managed to alight.

2. Words that stick may be driving you deeper. My gut reaction is to know that I am a good, positive and uplifting person. But my heart wonders if maybe I have grown comfortable where I am in my life. Just because I do try to lift people up does not mean I need to stop growing in that endeavor.

3. Words that stick may be preparing you for what lies ahead. Opportunities are opening up in my life for my walk in the church, my writing and my speaking. This “curse” that has alighted in my heart may be a wakeup call that I need to go further up and further in. I will never change the words that were poured out or the person that poured out the words, but I can choose to use the moment to grow my own life and my own heart and to push closer to the purpose for which I was woven.

4. Words that stick to not have to remain stuck. There have been things said of me in the past that were hurtful. Releasing those words through my own growth in the Holy Spirit has been some of the most refreshing acts I have ever experienced.

Do I need to work on being more uplifting with my words, thoughts and actions? The simple truth is that I do need to continue in my quest to live the good, positive and uplifting in every aspect of my life.

Have you checked your heart lately?

I have this Proverbs 31 thing down! And then the next day I get up late, the kids start off arguing, the cat has flipped the garbage can and the dishwasher was never emptied so dishes are now piling up in the sink and multiplying when I look away.

I re-read Proverbs 31 and it says nothing about every single day. It just gives an overview of the Proverbs 31 life. It makes me wonder if this perfect Proverbs woman might have had an off day or two. It would help to know that she did struggle on occasions.

But perception is the key. I see my flaws as I am sure the Proverbs 31 woman saw hers. She may not have viewed herself in the same way that the writer viewed her. I know that I would be a much more content woman if I viewed my own life through the eyes of my sons.

“She gets up every morning and spends an hour in prayer.”
“Whenever we are out she is practicing her guitar.”
“Everything she cooks is great.”
“She plans great parties.”

The Proverbs 31 woman was not perfect and the Proverbs 31 life will not be perfect either. See the good, improve on the bad and find the silver lining in the ugly. Living the Proverbs 31 life on a daily basis comes from living a life for God and not from getting everything right and on time or marking off the to-do list. It is a heart issue. When the heart is right then everything else will be right as well.

The right heart will live the Proverbs 31 life on a daily basis.