Conspiracies Miss the Proverbs 31 Woman

Conspiracies lurked behind every corner for me yesterday. The muses, the fates or whatever else you want to label it worked hard to keep me from working, sleeping or thinking. It can be hard to do what I know to do when nothing else seems to be going that way.

Conspiracy #1 – My husband has been on a trip for the last several days and returned with a new attitude. He PROMISED he’d get up early and I almost fell for it. Rearranging my day to NOT expect it set me behind. Getting it all done while he was gone and on time was not a problem because I knew I was the only one to do it. Why do we let the companionship of others throw our plans into such disarray?

Conspiracy #2 – Several deadlines loomed at me yesterday so it was the appropriate time for the neighbor to call to see if my husband could help him. My husband also decided to run errands for me because he knew I needed to work. The kids stayed with me so not much actual work was accomplished. It’s the thought that counts, right?

Conspiracy #3 – The boys went with my husband out on the lake so I took advantage of the quiet to finish up early and go on to bed.

• The phone rang only thirty minutes after I go settled and it was my FIL concerned that the boys weren’t home yet. I spent the next thirty minutes trying to find my crew. It’s so much harder to fall asleep the second time.
• FIL called back around 10 pm because my husband did not stop by and talk to him and did not call him like he said he would. I apologized and tried to stay calm – 3rd attempt at sound sleep.
• That’s about the time the crew chose to come home. The 4th time is just annoying.
• My youngest son starting crying and screaming at 11:30 pm so I had to get up to settle him back into bed. 5h time trying to get some sleep.
• The phone rang at 12:30 am.
• My middles son started coughing around 1am
• The youngest son was up again at 2 am.

I lost count of the number of times that I crawled in and out of bed and fell in and out of sleep but I do know that having my husband sleep soundly next to me was adding to my annoyance level!

I think sleep finally came although I ended up staying in bed WAY longer than I ever do and now I’m having trouble getting the crew started. It’s frustrating when other people don’t do what you expect or even what they say.

Staying Calm in the Storm

1. Take LOTS of deep breaths. It is important to remain calm during the storm.

2. Take baby steps. Completing even small tasks can help get the focus back on the important stuff and away from the conspiracy problems.

3. Take it lightly. Conspiracies may seem real but they are usually figments of our imagination. Enjoy the irony of the situation or at least try to smile. Smiles make everything a little easier to take.

Conspiracies aside, I did manage to get at least one of my projects completed. I’m determined to finish up the rest today and enjoy the long holiday weekend. The schedule is a bit off, but then so am I so I should be use to it. The truth is that I am the only person or thing that I can rely on outside of God and even then I can end up disappointing me.

What are the magic tips that you have for staying calm and focused during a conspiracy?

The Key to Choosing the Right Path

We bought a new (used) car on Tuesday and a tree fell on it on Friday. People have mentioned – I think in an effort to comfort me – that maybe that was not the car that God intended for me.

It doesn’t matter if that is the one that God intended because I chose it and God allows me to make my own choices for the good or for the bad. That is just His nature. It is the enemy that comes to steal, to kill and to destroy – not the Father. God did not drop a tree on my car.

No matter how or why that tree ended up on the car the truth is that God can turn a bad situation into good if I trust him. Sometimes following His path and His directions are as difficult for me as understanding why a tree fell on my new car before I even had a chance to drive it.

Tips for Choosing the Right Path

1. Don’t try to force it. God’s way may not be the “easy” way but it is smooth. He has cleared the path. Any time you are pushing and twisting to force a square peg in a round hole you might need to take a second look.

2. Don’t rush it. It is important that you be willing to step out when God tells you to step out but you better not step out before then. It’s like standing at a busy intersection with cars and trucks zipping by. If you cross before the light tells you to cross then you might find yourself in trouble (and pain).

3. Don’t do it on your own. Self-sufficiency is a sin. It forces you to take your eyes off Christ and focus on self. Choose to keep your eyes firmly set on and focused on God and you won’t be able to look at self. You can only focus in on one thing at a time even if you are a multi-tasker.

4. Don’t move without knowledge. The most important thing you can do is to spend quality time in the Word of God. The Word should be like the air you breathe – coming in and out of you naturally without a thought. Getting in the word will guarantee you an ear that is hungry for God’s direction and an ability to hear from God.

The day after I filed the claim for our insurance I found another exact make and model of the same car. Almost everything that had annoyed me about the other car was different and better in the one I had found (the almost should have been my first red flag). I negotiated a price that I wanted or at least where I wanted to start the finally negotiations.

I spent the following day having my mechanic check it out. At the same time I received news that the insurance will not pay until after the title goes to the state and comes back in our name. If I wanted the vehicle I would have to figure out a way to make it happen.

I walked away from that deal. Driving back to the dealership I noticed a strange pull and give in the way the car was driving. My dad had gone along for the ride as well and he noticed it. By the time we got to the dealership we were both thrilled that I had chosen not to buy what was surely a lemon.

God will make a way. He doesn’t need us to push and tear and force our way into the place that He wants for us. The key to choosing the right path is obedience. Following Him, His will and His way will put us on the right path each and every time.

Dealing with Kids When the Heat Rises

Children can be trying. Children that are hot and tired are extremely trying. Children that are hot and tired at a time when you are on a deadline and trying to balance the chores at the same time are just about impossible. The best way to keep from having to deal with impossible situations with the family is to avoid them altogether.

Tips to Avoid Having Trying Children

1. Plan refreshments that are cool (as in temperature) and cool (as in fun). Let the kids toss around an ice cream ball that actually churns fresh ice cream as they play. Let them add fresh fruits to their vanilla ice cream to make it unique and at least a little bit healthy.

2. Plan cool activities. Anything that involves playing in water will usually work. Put the sprinkler out and let them run through it, purchase water balloons and let them have a battle or just give them a bucket and a hose and let the fun begin.

3. Have crafts planned to occupy their time. Let them paint the window with water paints or decorate the porch with chalk. Give them some finger paints and let them decorate the plastic lawn furniture. When the creations are done you can wash them off and wash away the creations at the same time – be sure to take pictures first.

4. Schedule a movie time. Make the investment of renting a movie that they have wanted to see and post the time the movie will start. Let them pick out snacks and drinks to enjoy during the movie.

5. Make plans for them to get out of the house. Ask a friend or relative to take them for the day or just for the amount of time that you need to get your work done. Make arrangements to reciprocate the opportunity in the near future for their kids.

6. Let it go. Stop stressing over things that can be left behind for the moment and focus on the things that absolutely have to be done. If you are not stressed then odds are you children will be more relaxed as well.

Summer can be hectic for work at home parents or any parents that are not use to having their children around during the day. Be prepared for those melt down moments and you can keep your cool no matter how much the heat rises.

Reasons Christians Need Church

Everyone has met that person that says they can talk to God better in the quiet of the woods or on the fishing boat or just about anywhere besides the inside of a church. The problem with this theory is that the church was not designed to be the place where we talk to God or even where we worship God. The church was designed for fellowship with other believers and scripture is adamant about not forsaking fellowship.

Tops Reasons for Attending Church

1. It is only in the presence of other believers that you can stand boldly. The world tries to pull you down. That’s its job. Being surrounded by the saints serves as a booster shot that gives you the strength to carry on in despite of the world around you.

2. Church opens opportunities to be an encourager. Your walk and your words can be the inspiration that another person needs to keep going. I was once approached by a lady that confessed she had considered leaving church altogether but seeing my smile each time and hearing that I was lifting her up in prayer helped her to continue on through a dark moment in her life.

3. You can be encouraged. The smiles and prayers of the genuinely concerned can do more to lift your spirit than anything else this world could ever HOPE to offer.

4. Church is a celebration – and who doesn’t like to celebrate. Celebrations can not happen alone. They are only truly celebrations when they are shared with others.

5. Being around others will give you accountability. You will be more inclined to walk the talk when you know that others are watching. It shouldn’t be that way, but the reality of the flesh is that we do better when we know there are eyes watching our behavior.

6. Church is a connection to the body of Christ. We all need that feeling of connection and of family. The Body of Believers can be just the thing that the Great Physician ordered.

The church is not just the building. Think how much better your week would be if you did not forsake the fellowship EACH DAY. You can meet with believers for coffee before work, at lunch time or have a gathering of believers and their families for dinner. The key to attending church is to meet regularly with believers and share in the benefits of family membership.

For Dad on Father’s Day

This is the day that I try to remember all of those special moments. The times that were just my Dad and me -without a brother to be found. It is then that I realize how truly blessed I am to have a dad that was a parent, a mentor and now a friend.

Tips I Learned from Dad about Parenting and Life

1. Make time for each child no matter what your schedule. Every Saturday my dad took me out for an early breakfast up at the state park. The tradition slowed down as I grew up but he began meeting me once a week during college for a meal. It was a time for us to share our lives, our thoughts and along the way our spiritual walk.

2. Spend time listening. Each outing with my dad I was free to talk (and I’m VERY good at that). He rarely added a word unless I was looking for his advice. More often than not he served as a sounding block to give me the chance to work through life alone – but with a watchful eye.

3. Share the Word. My dad often shared teaching tapes and other information that he was listening to or reading that was helping with his own spiritual walk in order to assist me in mine. He also encouraged me to ask him questions and to ask others questions when it came to the Word. He helped me develop a hunger for the Truth.

4. Pray daily (sometimes hourly). Every morning my dad gets up and spends time reading his bible and praying. I have caught him at this more than once but he has also shared with me about his “quiet time.” I know that he is praying for me and the comfort of his prayers is sometimes the added life preserver I need to get through situations.

5. Expect change. There was a time when I was my daddy’s little girl and in his heart I will always have that place. Over the years our relationship has been allowed to grow and mature as we each have grown and matured as Christians. Now we pray for each other and together – but I still call my daddy when I need encouragement, advice, comfort, support or a listening ear.

The best part about looking back on my relationship with my dad is that I can see beyond the mistakes into the love. I can also choose the good things that he did to emulate in my own parenting journey and let any negatives fall into the rocky ground where they can not take root.

Thank you Dad for all that you have done for me over the years. You have helped me to grow into my walk and my purpose and you continue to help me in that path each and every day. Know that this Father’s Day you are in my thoughts and prayers but more importantly each day you are in my heart and an essential part of my life!

Dealing with Unexpected Circumstances

If a tree falls on the car at night and no one is around – does it make a noise?

The answer to that question is apparently yes and according to my husband (who has never heard a tree fall on a car before now) you know exactly what the sound is and can feel the pain of the crushed car.

Circumstances happen and they will continue to happen as long as there is life. The difference between those that succeed and those that fail are how they deal with the circumstances that come along.

Dealing with Circumstances

1. Have your paperwork in order. It makes things much easier if you know exactly where the title to the crushed car is sitting, where to find the information for the insurance company and any other information that you might need in the event of an unexpected situation.

2. Have multiple copies. Just having something in the glove compartment of the car will not help when there is a tree sitting on top of that glove compartment. You do need to keep copies of important information (but NOT the deed) in your vehicle in case the circumstances come up away from home as well.

3. Have a support system. You need to have someone that you can call when circumstances prevent you from doing what needs to be done. Having a ride for the kids to their activities or just a way to get around to get the situation worked out will go a long ways towards giving you peace.

4. Remember the ultimate truth. It’s stuff. As long as no one was injured during the circumstances then the stuff can be replaced. The sooner you realize how unimportant stuff actually is then the easier you can face the unexpected circumstances.

Just three weeks ago our family vehicle was hit by another driver and totaled. It took us two weeks to work through the circumstances and purchase a new vehicle. The new vehicle is the suburban in the picture and the picture was taken just four days after the purchase was made.

Circumstances happen. It is the attitude that comes when circumstances are faced that will determine the outcome of those circumstances.

How do you deal with the unexpected circumstances in your life?

The Attacks WILL Come

Just when you think it’s safe to go back into the water . . . or to park your car next to the house . . . the attacks start all over. The question is not WILL the attack come but WHEN will it come. If you are doing what you are suppose to be doing then the enemy is going to try and stop you.

It can be easy focusing on the attacks. Each one is another reason to slow down or to just give up altogether. That’s what the enemy wants and it’s what he is counting on. If the next problem, situation or trouble causes you to quit then he wins and his job is done.

It is MY job to push through. Some attacks are easier to survive than others but survival of any attack will come only by following a few basics steps.

Surviving an Attack by the Enemy

1. Now the battle plan. Digging into the Word and spending time with God EVERY DAY is the only way to understand His purpose and His plan and to continue to walk in it no matter what you might face.

2. Stay focused. Drawing a straight line from point A to point B can only be accomplished it you stay focused on where you are going. Do not turn to the left or to the right but look straight on.

3. Use your words. The enemy will try to use words to destroy but you can use words to build up. Speak positive things over your life and over the situation.

4. Remember the ending. It is easy to get caught up in this world and to lose track of the ultimate end and where we will be “tomorrow.”

5. Remember the point. We are ambassadors to this world and not residents of this world. Everything that we do and everything that we have is for the furthering of our ambassadorships.

I recently heard Vanessa Davis Griggs speak at a conference and she said that the only time the enemy tries to stop you is when you are going to succeed. Knowing that success if one more push away should be enough to drive you past any attack that you are facing.

Gardening for Life

To plant a successful garden, you must prepare the soil, know what you are planting and how much space to allow it, and keep the weeds out. Most people I know that play around with a garden try to skip or ignore steps. By the end of the summer, the grass is covering the garden, and they don’t know what is where (it’s not like I haven’t done it myself).

The other morning I was reminded by an article from Heart of Wisdom that everything in life falls into the same pattern as gardening.

She wrote:

“Timely planting and on-going care (watering, weeding, pruning, etc.) will bring forth good fruit. There’s no quick fix for training children. If we neglect them now, we can’t expect positive results later. As I explained to my sons, we can’t expect daffodils if we don’t plant the bulbs.”

I was motivated to dig into my own flower beds. Weeding is a task I try to start just after the first frost. I know from experience that if I let the weeds dig their roots in then I’m in for a real battle. If I get them while they are young, it is easy as running a rake across the area.

Down on my knees, with my face practically in the dirt, I realized how much gardening and life parallel. Bad habits are like weeds. If they are allowed to make a home in my life, it takes some hard work to clear them out. What’s even worse is that just one bad habit, left on its own, has a way of multiplying until my whole life seems to be spinning out of control.

Weeding my garden will help me focus on the weeds that have sprouted up in my life. Hopefully, as I make progress in the dirt, I can make just as much progress in myself.

No matter what you are doing (starting a business, cleaning the house, or schooling the children), you have to prepare for the task, plan out what you want to do and know the space (or time) to do it, and above all else, you have to keep the weeds out.

Steps for Creating a Successful Life Garden

1. Be prepared – make a schedule, draw out a map, sketch a plan. You have to know what you need to do and when you need to do it in order to be able to get it done.

2. Don’t wait until tomorrow. Weeds have a way of digging into the ground the more time they are given. If you want the task to be easier then pull the weed when it first shows itself.

3. Take care of your tasks. You can’t clean the house just once (maybe once a day if you have kids) or wash the dishes expecting them to stay clean. This is an ongoing effort (what ever THIS may be in your life).

4. Be consistent with your tasks. Do things at the same time in the same way and they will become habits in your life. Before you know it, you’ll be folding and putting away laundry with out a thought about it.

5. Delegate but don’t forget. There are times when I pass on tasks to others in the family, but they forget (or haven’t gotten use) to the task. Depending on the time and the circumstances, I will gently remind and even offer to help, or I will do it myself. Getting upset just wastes even more time.

6. Get rid of all the unwanted or unneeded in your life – whether it’s unused toys, old clothes, or club meetings you really don’t enjoy. The time you have is all the time you get – make the most of it everyday.

Keeping a healthy life garden is possible for everyone. It is the one time you don’t need a green thumb to get it right. Just make sure you prepare, plan, and weed and you will be alright.

Have a Good Day when Things are Bad

“Today is a very good day. Today is a very good day. Today is a very good day.”

One of my bosses told me that if you say it then you will begin to be it. I believe in the power of words, but I’m struggling to see that today is a very good day. Or even a kind of good day. I am not alone in my feelings. Over at Just Mommies the struggle seems to be a similar one. On top of everything that my own body is throwing at me there is so much more going on to try and bring me down.

• My husband just left to go to his accountability group – great for him and his well being (at least while he’s gone) but more work for me since I’m home alone to get the kids up and going and get the chores done around the house all while trying to work.

• The car wreck that happened back in May is FINALLY close to being worked out but I’m having to negotiate with insurance agents, adjusters and used car dealers – all of which have their own agenda.

• It rained AGAIN last night which means that I’m one more day behind on getting ready for my mom’s group to meet at my home (with all their kids) next Tuesday.

I’ve only been up an hour and I’m already tired. The emotions are real but they are completely unnecessary. It can be hard for me to focus on the positive for these few hours each month.

It would be easy to make excuses for my actions today. It’s perfectly with in my right to stay in bed with a heating pad and sleep (and I could). But it would not be the right thing to do. In the end, there is always an excuse to keep me from doing what I need to be doing.

I have to look for my strength and peace and joy from some place other than my physical being. The physical being is the one that would be in bed all day. It is right now that I have to push beyond the physical in order to be where I need to be to walk in the purpose for my life and to receive the blessings that God desires to pour over me.

Steps for Getting Beyond the Physical

1. Make a list of all the positive things in life. Focusing on the positive is one of the easiest ways to defeat the negative.

2. Sing. There is just something about the act of humming and singing that lightens the heart and lifts the spirit.

3. Cheer someone else up. Send a note or card to a friend that is having a tough time. The act of encouraging others will be encouraging to your own heart and mind.

4. Have a back up plan (like keeping extra meals frozen for easy fixing on days when the motivation level is low). Remember that some times the best plan is to have a plan B.

5. Skip a chore or two to lighten the load (just be sure that skipping the to-dos does not become the norm instead of the exception).

6. Ask a friend to help you out for a couple of hours. Sometimes just having the companionship will be all that you need to lift your spirits up.

7. REFUSE to complain. Negative words and negative thoughts will only pull down. Make an effort to speak and THINK good, positive and uplifting things.

8. Write a post about getting beyond the physical.

Things are already looking up. My circumstances have not changed, but my attitude about those circumstances has started to turn around.

Today IS a very good day!

Teaching Kids Consistency

Consistency is something that I am good at – but only from time to time. I struggle with being consistent from one day to the next. When I’m on then things are great but when I’m off it is then that I can’t seem to get anything right. I am still learning.

My goal is to begin teaching my children consistency now so that it becomes a natural part of their lives. I know that if I slack in my bringing them up then they may end up facing the same struggles that I face in their own futures.

Steps for Teaching Consistency